phlegm ringing dyspraxia stars

With a title like that, you know it’s gotta be another edition of “Weird Search Terms”! These are just some of the phrases that landed people to my blog recently.

There’s the usual run of unintelligible combinations:

  • phlegm ringing
  • migraines tapioca pudding
  • gluton in humans
  • epidemiology of sowbug
  • chit tea and water
  • punishment in inflation
  • old teacher big bread sucking student
  • drawing cat 45 tool holder
  • winded bugs
  • epidemiologist investigate humor
  • beautiful crush bug media
  • back titties
  • prosopagnosia number pi
  • “baking soda” “insomnia”
  • euphoniuc dissonance

(A euphonium is like a baritone tuba; does your brass need tuning up?)

  • cat hitting forehead

(Is that cat hitting its forehead or yours?)

  • dyspraxia stars

(Media stars that are dyspraxic?)

  • the venus of

(… of what?)

I suppose that with millions of humans on this planet, there are bound to be some odd word or concept combinations in search-engine queries. But why do so many of them land at my blog?

Then we have the Complete Nonsense queries (quack, quack, quack):

  • chi machine hypermobility
  • co2 aspergers
  • how to remove lead from autistic child
  • autism manna relief
  • chakra significance of tmj pain
  • theries to teleportation
  • tourettes lead toxicity
  • metal magic chelation capd
  • evp dyspraxia

(“EVP” is Electronic Voice Phenomenon, where you think you’re hearing people saying things because your brain is trying to interpret random nonsense electronic noise. The “ghost” is in your brain, not in the recording or the machinery.)

  • audio processing disorder natural cure

Not auditory processing, but audio processing — quick, pull out the multimeter! Or maybe this would be a better tool:

  • discworld glossary hole punch

Variations on “how to draw a cat” are still very popular. My faves this time are:

  • csi cat drawing
  • how to draw a normal cat

A normal cat as opposed to … ? We also have:

  • butterflies drawing

You can give your butterflies crayons, but they don’t do much with them. Maybe giving fingerpaints to caterpillars would work better. Perhaps you could use up some of the extra paper piling up over there:

  • free assignment answer paper management
  • omniscient tech. aptitude papers

All sorts of truly odd things are entered in combination with autism:

  • light bulbs and aspergers
  • clip of asperger’s gait
  • teen autism behave strange
  • aspergers lack of inertia
  • asperger’s sensory hate breasts
  • autistic children cookies
  • autism fishing
  • asperger diagnostik
  • autism ruining in circles

(RUINING in circles?)

  • autistic child in school humming singing

(As opposed to all the other children in school humming and singing?)

  • weather dependent autism

(No, it’s not weather-dependent — autism is a 24/7 thing. Unlike say, some migraine headaches.)

  • austim student

I can’t tell if “austim” is a typo, a dyslexic moment, or someone conflating autism and stim. Which leads us to the next set … Stimming- and fidgeting-related queries have been taking a more positive angle lately, which is really interesting:

  • fidgeting to focus
  • learning through fidgeting in classroom
  • what is eye stimming
  • nervous habit of flapping hands
  • when does stimming for autistic children
  • is it stimming or tic diorder
  • asparger stims
  • fidgeting while reading
  • fidgeting during menopause
  • stimming without autism
  • short attention span, compulsive, fidget
  • capd and stimming
  • hand flapping tourettes
  • normal stimming
  • self stimming rocking suggestions

(Think they wanted suggestions for how to do it better?)

  • reducing self stims

(I’m sure that some really energetic stims could be a part of a weight-reduction scheme.)

The sad, the bad and the ugly:

  • ganglion cyst blue on index finger
  • white spots on arms
  • cast devil solution
  • when your disabled and being neglected
  • trinj bruise
  • migraine passing out
  • kids with learning disabilities falling

Not failing, FALLING, which is even more worrisome.

  • human behavior the art of snubbing

(Snubbing is not an “art”. Snubbing is rude. There’s a difference between ignoring unwanted inappropriate behaviors to help “extinguish” them by not reinforcing them, and going out of one’s way to ignore someone and their positive social interactions or even making a show of disdainfully ignoring them.)

Tinnitus (and related annoyances) are also a major query set of late, which is not a happy trend:

  • tinnitus from tmj stress goes away
  • what if i hear a ring in my ear off and
  • binaural ears ringing
  • clogged ear and ringing sounds
  • ringing in ear then passing out
  • high pitched buzzing/whining noises in e
  • can you cure buzzing in head
  • tinnitus uneven tones in ears
  • my son’s ear is ringing is this normal

(Only if he has a mobile phone clipped to it. Otherwise, visit his pediatrician.)

  • high pitched buzzing classroom

(It might be the lights, computer or audio-visual equipment, or students might have the “mosquito” ringtone on their mobile phones.)

I can’t believe it — someone is still looking for:

  • the shot that makes your butt bigger
  • stove cat urine

Barking up the wrong blog:

  • who is trying to sue paul karason?
  • “sprained foot” fell dance
  • bell curve for myers briggs personality
  • goldfish
  • threshold of pain meter chart 5 pictures
  • autism diva and sensory learning program
  • auditory training swine
  • insecurities of a deaf person
  • sitting+at+your+desk+hurting+our+legs
  • tmj & childbirth
  • engine type: gardner 6lx
  • gross out girls with bugs
  • cooking timer for the hard of hearing
  • university college london study migraine
  • schools of physiotherapies in london
  • paving pictures

(For pavement shots, go ask Bev nicely and she might put up some more at Asperger Square 8. I usually take pix of bridges.)

In which andrea answers your questions

(just in case you didn’t find the answer elsewhere):

  • how do you pass tourette’s onto your kid

The usual way (i.e. random gene assortment in sexual reproduction).

  • how do you know if your a crip

Well, are you crippled? Is it permanent?

  • can a person with aspberger get a drivers l

Yes, although not everyone masters this skill, whether or not they have Asperger’s (spelled without the B).

  • when am i ever going to use this algebra

There’s a self-fulfilling prophecy: if you don’t learn it, then you will never be able to use it, not even when it would be the easiest way to solve a real-life problem. I find that I use geometry more than algebra, but I still use algebra, even for things like sewing. Algebra is an easier way of solving what would otherwise be very tediously long and complex arithmetic questions.

  • rice sock warming

If your rice sock is filled with 1 pound or 1/2 kilogram of dry rice, then put it in the microwave on High for 1-2 minutes.

  • why is punishment used more than rewards

Sadly, it’s often easier. It’s much easier to yell at someone or deprive them of something than it is to figure out what the actual problem is and solve it. Plus, people often teach or parent in the ways they were taught or parented, unless they make an effort to do things differently. Unfortunately, although punishment may stop a behavior (for a little while) it doesn’t change behavior long-term because usually there isn’t a better alternative taught to replace the problem behavior.

  • did romans really have roman noses

No, they all had Greek noses. (Sorry, some questions just beg for silly, flippant answers.)

  • why unproven treatment for autism prevai

Follow the money!

  • how to draw dust

Hmn … my cat, Elizabeth, happened to pass by, so I asked her how she would draw dust. She just shook herself vigorously, releasing a small cloud of fur. I think that’s probably the best answer available, aside from reading Dr Seuss’ Horton Hears A Who.

  • feel like i am going to passing out

Well, the Internet Oracle is not going to dial the emergency response number for you …

  • how long should child make eye contact

You’re asking me? I don’t really pay attention to how long or how often anyone makes eye-contact with me. I’ve even had some tutees express relief when I told them that I didn’t worry about eye contact, and that I understood they could be listening and paying attention even if they weren’t looking at me or making eye contact.

  • one stroke bugs and butterflies

All I can think of is single-stroke engines, and those are not used in micro-robotics inspired by or utilising insects.

My faves from the latest batch:

  • oops my arm fell off
  • how many andrea’s are there in the world
  • fun stuff for my brain
  • adhd girls and self-advocacy
  • society acceptance of physical deformiti
  • i’d rather be stimming
  • judge rotenberg center to be shut down
  • fun stuff for adhd
  • central auditory processing + brilliant
  • cute bees
  • emotional inclusiveness in playground
  • hiden power.i humen

No points for spelling on that last one, but it’s intriguing. I bet the folks at Apple already have jokes about pregnant employees making the iHuman.

:: sigh :: No brownies this time. <want>


  1. Alias Psuedonym said,

    13 August 2008 at 6:34

    “oops my arm fell off.”

    I laughed rather hard at that one.

  2. Ettina said,

    11 March 2008 at 22:00

    “asperger diagnostik”

    Is that German? It looks like German spelling.

    “weather dependent autism”

    Could be searching for weather dependent features of autism? For example, I heard somewhere that some autistics are hypersensitive to barometric pressure, and changes in barometric pressure are detected and may be uncomfortable. The resulting discomfort would be a weather dependent feature of autism.
    An alternate explanation is the theory of allergic autism – if there is such a thing, the effect could be seasonal and affected by wind in a similar way to allergic rhinitis (stuffy/irritated nose due to allergies).
    How do you find out what search topics lead to your blog?

  3. navi said,

    9 March 2008 at 16:20

    having just attended a session on sensory integration, ‘light bulbs and Aspergers’ makes a little sense, in that apparently fluorescent lights create a buzzing sound and flicker, which could be an irritant to some. The idea was fluorescent = bad, ambient/full spectrum/natural light = good, which is, well, um, probably true for everybody…

  4. qw88nb88 said,

    9 March 2008 at 15:18

    Building more model planes there?

  5. Justthisguy said,

    9 March 2008 at 9:26

    I’ll have to try one with “nitrate dope jap tissue.”

  6. 9 March 2008 at 9:23

    “cute bees”

    Wouldn’t be surprised if my own darling bug girl were to have used that as a search term! :P

  7. qw88nb88 said,

    9 March 2008 at 5:19

    Hmn, interesting hypotheses! Quite possibly…


  8. 8 March 2008 at 23:48

    austim student

    alternate explanation: Austin student, as in a student from Austin, Texas

    Sorry, boring, I know.

    learning disabled student falling: maybe the person knows a student with learning disabilities who falls a lot and is trying to figure out possible reasons why, such as dysgraphia etc., and checking whether there is a particular correlation with learning disabilities?

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