burning questions about phonics versus … pig ovaries

Yes indeed, it’s another exciting episode of your favourite irregularly-scheduled posting, Weird Search Terms. “Teh interwebs” is a strange and wondrous place, and some of it lands here! So without further ado (cue drummer):

More queries for the Interwebs Oracle:

  • i have to tell you something important
  • sleep recording surgery in rat brain
  • burning questions about phonics versus
  • pig ovaries
  • do i have fluid in my ear
  • can’t hear the fairy music
  • oxymoron – i need the number with no dig
  • how many bottons do air-planes have

bottoms? buttons?

In answer to your question: No. No. No. No. (Wash, rinse, repeat.)

  • chronic sleep deprivation causes autism
  • challenge test for heavy metals?
  • testimonials as evidence in science
  • egg white cures mercury poisoning
  • tinnitus green tea
  • sympathy and pity help the person to adj
  • vaccinations causing learning disabiliti
  • does finger flicking pages mean autism
  • asperger self hatred
  • auditory processing disorder stupid

Things get even weirder, leaving me blinking and repeating, “G’blrrg?” (the non-word I say when I am utterly baffled):

  • utube transgendered skirts
  • found unexpectedly; acquired knowledge a
  • tourette’s spaghetti
  • cuppa a mug for everyone hummingbird
  • gross man learning styles
  • concrete letters
  • cnc turret punch six sigma control chart
  • buzzing spider
  • butt shot to make your butt bigger
  • viceroy poundcake

You know, spiders are a pretty quiet bunch; that’s one of Rosie’s nicest traits as a room-mate. (Can’t say as much for the remaining crickets.) It’s probably just me, but that last item sounds like a cake with Viceroy butterflies baked into it (yuck). But I’m sure eating poundcake will help make your butt bigger. :: shakes head ::

Things the good doctor (Hans Asperger, not Dr Who) likely did not worry about:

  • aspergers and ear deformities
  • semiotics aspergers
  • dyscalculia + aspergers
  • asperger tinnitus
  • playground in my mind
  • asperger’s stimming little girl
  • aspergers fidgeting
  • communication barriers asperger husband

The Kid’s recent fave fidget-widgit is a set of tumbled (smooth) magnetite pebbles that was a holiday present. click, click, click, click … Over here, communication barriers are the other way ’round.

Things I do wonder about (along with whomever typed in these queries):

  • do humans have hidden abilities
  • remembering names
  • head banging as coping strategy in autis
  • menopause and tmj
  • aspergers “missing assignments
  • forget go downstairs steps remember
  • getting stuck autism
  • going through college with tinnitus
  • hypermobility tmj
  • job hunting for teaching jobs is hell

In the usual eponymous queries there are:

  • absolute andrea
  • words on andrea

    I try to keep my Things To Do index card in my pocket so there are fewer “words on andrea”. The persistence of such notes is poor because I’m diligent in my hand washing, unlike this person:

    • my letterman jacket sleeves are sticky

    Really bad things people wonder about. The last one I will leave for you to respond to (persuasive essay with point, counter-point and rebuttal, at least 300 words, and don’t forget to cite your sources — just kidding).

    • sweating+chills+fogging mind+brain pain
    • roadkill cow
    • cleaning stove burners cat urine
    • legal aversives
    • autism punishment recess
    • is hard of hearing child always screamin
    • rat cartoon + pain testis
    • deidre imus bees
    • judge rotenberg center mission statement

    (A testis is one of the two testes.) Imus better stay away from my bees!

    My favourites, OR, In answer to your question: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes!

    • cross cultural autism
    • fairness “giving people what they need”
    • human hidden abilities strength
    • socially acceptable stims
    • method to the madness at work

    I bet part of that “madness” involves time-honoured File By Pile. (-:

    And the best one of the lot:

    • fudge brownies “weird search terms”

    Back to regularly-scheduled blogging again tomorrow …


    1. 23 December 2008 at 14:33

      […] I haven’t got any search reports which compare to these, yet. Try harder, searchers. You must have something weirder you want to know. Published […]

    2. Bug Girl said,

      23 February 2008 at 23:31

      These are all WAY more interesting than the search query terms for my blog!

    3. Ambyr said,

      23 February 2008 at 5:10

      I had a professor a while back who was in a punk band named Imperial Butt Wizards when he was younger.It’s strange that whenever I Google ‘Imperial Butt Wizards.” I also get websites about the Klu Klux Klan as well as my former professor’s punk rock band. I discovered I have to put ‘Los Angeles’ next to the name of the band to be able to find more sites about the band and not some racist group.

    4. qw88nb88 said,

      22 February 2008 at 21:36

      Shiva asked,
      Have you ever even mentioned things like “roadkill cow” or “pig ovaries”?

      No, I haven’t! I mentioned roadkill here in this lovely squashed-geranium photograph and ovaries there in this post on gender identity issues. Bizarre.

      P.S. When I googled “pig ovaries” this post came up first! I find that amazing, especially in light of the fact that there must be lots of stuff on the Web related to animal husbandry and veterinary science.

    5. shiva said,

      22 February 2008 at 20:23

      And googling “pig ovaries” actually now gets this post as its third result…

    6. shiva said,

      22 February 2008 at 20:21

      I *really* hope that query was about cleaning cat urine off stove burners, rather than trying to clean stove burners with cat urine…

      Some of these had me laughing uncontrollably. Particularly “cuppa a mug for everyone hummingbird”… just the sheer impossibility of working out any interpreation with any sense from it…

      By a strange coincidence, you’re the second of the blogs i check daily to have a post about the pig reproductive system today. The first is here… :o

      Have you ever even mentioned things like “roadkill cow” or “pig ovaries”?

    7. LisaDroesdov said,

      22 February 2008 at 17:20

      Re: Cleaning Stove burners cat urine:

      They should ask Karen Pryor. She has an anecdote about a cat who would pee on stove burners in her book, Don’t Shoot the Dog.

    8. 22 February 2008 at 7:17

      Viceroy Poundcake sounds like a good name for a psychedelic/prog-rock band!

      And the track listing for their first album?

      * i have to tell you something important
      * sleep recording surgery in rat brain
      * burning questions about phonics versus
      * pig ovaries
      * do i have fluid in my ear
      * can’t hear the fairy music
      * oxymoron – i need the number with no dig
      * how many bottons do air-planes have

      Album title?

      “Tourette’s Spaghetti”, of course!

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