Ooh shiny cat disabled autism dust

A fresh batch of Weird Search Terms, and boy, are there some whoppers in here!

With an increase in traffic comes an increase in the number of search terms that lead people to my blog — and an increase in the number of peculiar search terms. Since I started my work day at 7:30 am and finished my last class at 9:20 pm, I have not had any time for writing today. So this seems like a good day to post the latest entertaining slushpile. My favourites are at the end, of course.

The most common are still in the “how to draw a cat” category, go figure:

  • cat drawing
  • drawing cat
  • draw cats
  • how to draw cat
  • cat+draw
  • Cats drawing
  • line drawing cat

Hmn, that last one sounds like it ought to be a children’s story. “Macvicar was a line-drawing cat; he drew lines on everything: the walls, the furniture, the stairs, the rugs, even pieces of mail …”

Er, what’s this about?

  • hook folder whistle box cognition
  • tmj disorder in cats
  • mushrooms eliminate sour body odor
  • snippit sensations
  • selfish bratty messy young adults
  • ear ringing math
  • poor social interaction no eye cat
  • medication gravel for migraines

    Eye cat?
    And anything with “gravel” and “migraine” in the same phrase is not a good day.

    Set phasers to “Random”:

    • abstraction draw
    • pregnant bathsheba
    • oh,oh no, go on
    • industrial looking bras
    • dentist games to play
    • autism dust

    Autism dust?

    • diaper analyse colleage
    • box box
    • we go left, right + you go again
    • yellow goes with
    • words staring with F

    Well, you can imagine my mental reply to that is, “What the F—?”

    People ask the Interwebs Oracle about:

    • my titties
    • which ring of hell am i going to?
    • passing out for 20 min. what could this
    • would i be a good counselor
    • i want a cool new york apartment that is
    • will an mri make my hyperacusis worse
    • Would a mentally disabled person have th
    • will hand flapping tic cause social prob
    • How long does it take for my blood press
    • tinnitus and the sex act
    • what does it mean when you mangle paper
    • explanation of “you have no idea what a
    • Is it too late to help my 12 year old wi
    • why does a girl avoid you for no reason?
    • extreme stimming

    What about your titties?

    Is “extreme stimming” a new sort of sport? In any regard, it’d be a good reason to buy an Aspie Stim Team tee shirt.

    Who would have thought that “andrea” was an entire Search category?

    • ed powers andrea teeny
    • andrea face q
    • new words that andrea doesn’t know
    • andrea glasses
    • different ways to spell andrea
    • andrea upset by jibes over illness
    • Andrea trans m/f
    • freeze frame/by andrea
    • Andrea Tie Cords

    Tie cords, hmn … Moving right along here … Someone’s barking up the wrong diagnostic tree:

    • autism menopause
    • adhd difficulty making eye contact
    • bipolar body rocking
    • tinnitus asperger
    • stuttering and menopause
    • bipolar and perseveration and obsession
    • I got a peice of food in my wind pipe, w

    If you’re choking, get OFF the bloody computer and grab a friend or dial the emergency code!

    Watch that spelling now:

    • True, but unbelievable appearing ancedot
    • tic insect pix
    • wats that test wit 3 a 3 b 3 c and there
    • jean bitting
    • hyperbolic treatment – autism

    A ticK is an arachnid, not an insect.

    Hyperbolic means exaggerated, or something to do with hyperbolas. Maybe hyperbolic treatment is a fun, new kind of spinning-around stimming! Or maybe they can’t spell hyperbaric, which is a discredited autism treatment anyway. I think that spinning around is more fun; if I give it a fancy name, can I call it a “therapy”?

    The scary ones:

    • asperger “not human”
    • painful auditory disorders metal
    • cast devil solution
    • noise autism explosive children

    I wish I had the answer:

    • New Year topics for conversation
    • what causes a constant high pitched tone
    • teaching aspergers how to converse
    • bruise easily tired headaches
    • severe pain and migraines from tmj
    • difficulties for disabled jobs
    • how can I improve my hyperacusis
    • How to make small talk during greetings

    You know, there is probably some essential thesis lurking in there about some people trying to find information on how to do small talk by querying an internet search engine instead of actually talking to other live people. Hey, I bet I could google up some research data on that in the autism and linguistics journals …

    You wanted to know; I blogged about it (use search box in my sidebar):

    • supernormal stimuli, faces
    • Responding to Student Concerns about Fai
    • parents of autistic children who kill th
    • disabled womens
    • word for repeating songs in your head
    • GED skin shock
    • black beetle bugs in US
    • migraine from and screen flicker
    • love stories of physical disabled people
    • Closed Caption icon symbol
    • Sphecidae
    • lining things up in autism
    • buzz bug
    • “people magazine” face blind”
    • is stimming normal
    • rewards and punishment do they work?
    • incidence vs prevalence autism
    • butterflies, bees bugs
    • stuttering with migraine

    (Although I don’t always have answers, just discussions.)

    And my favourites for this batch:

    • number 4
    • ooh shiny
    • 10 things to do before leaving london

    “number 4” because you know, number 8 would lead you to Bev’s blog. What’s really fantastic is that about the time when “number 4” hit my dashboard data, the Kid announced at dinner that a lifetime goal was to get the worldwide rights for the number 4. That was the how-to-get-rich-scheme: royalties for using the number 4. Uh-huh. Keep thinking, there.

    “ooh shiny” may be one of my best quotes; I say it plenty often.

    Before leaving London, do be sure you have packed your passport and towel (like a good galactic traveller). Don’t forget to use the loo, because when travelling you never know when the next opportunity will happen! The other seven things are up to you. Personally, I would get a couple of nice meals at Food For Thought and Belgo Centraal, visit Forbidden Planet (Mecca for all things science fiction and fantasy), Kew Gardens and the Transport Museum, and I still haven’t been on the London Eye (Ferris wheel).

    And of course there is:

    • BUTTERFLIES OF EUROPE GORGEOUS

    Glad you are enjoying them! Please dispose of your litter properly, and remember to shut the gate behind you. There is no VAT for enjoying wildlife.

    17 Comments

    1. April said,

      7 September 2009 at 6:12

      Glad they repealed h\the wildlife tax! ;)

    2. David Howell said,

      30 January 2008 at 16:33

      ‘Ooh, shiny’ is quite the pet phrase of mine too. Indeed, I go by the nickname ‘Shiny Dave’ in some parts (though that’s my invention from my penchant for wearing a hi-vis jacket to feel safer at night and adopting it as a stage outfit for karaoke, complete with nickname to match – people still think it’s my magpie-like tendencies that is the origin though, and it’s not that inaccurate to think that).

      The only problem is that this desire for shiny lured me into the backstage tech group at university, and yet many of the tasks on all shows are problematic (climbing ladders, for one) and many of the shows then have sensory threats in themselves (be it excessive noise or flashy lighting). And yet… I still love what I can do. Only done one show thus far, operated the lighting desk for a play, and now want to do lighting design for future shows. I seem to have learned a lot quickly while waiting for opportunities to use those skills, and designing is the obvious application.

      I’ve been on the Eye. One of the best things about London. Though the magnitude of the fun is very weather-dependent.

      ‘Extreme stimming’ sounds hysterical. Heck, much of this does.

    3. 24 January 2008 at 6:08

      Holy blogger! I am about to be skinned alive, and yet I procceed…hmm, anyhoo//you all are way too smart for me, I have MS and am starting a list of 100 Chronic Illnesses (I think I came here from J Herrmann’s blog, but my eyes are bulging from reading so many web sites for people w/a chronic illness who actually post about interesting stuff besides their healh…I digress, would you join the list I’m starting? I just(here comes te skinnin’) don’t know if you have a chronic illness. (ow) I read as much as I could…
      Well, let me know: stellarlife @yahoo.com Diane-
      http://dj-astellarlife.blogspot.com/

      PS (Funny is not a chronic illness.)

    4. 24 January 2008 at 4:07

      You made me laugh out loud, Andrea! Thanks!

    5. qw88nb88 said,

      24 January 2008 at 1:00

      Catana, duly updated, thank you!
      andrea

    6. Niksmom said,

      24 January 2008 at 0:50

      OMG, this cracked me up, Andrea! I SOOOO needed a chuckle tonight. Thanks. :-)

    7. andrea said,

      24 January 2008 at 0:00

      Shiva, F like stalked eyes? I think it looks more like the wee antennae on Daphnia (water fleas).

      I think the search term lister in my WordPress dashboard has a character limit, so even if people type in whole sentences into their queries, I only get part of them. But yeah, I still find it curious that people not only enter their queries as full sentences, but also that they seem to think there’s some sort of “Interwebs Oracle” answering them, rather than just some sophisticated algorithms for alphanumeric character combinatorics.

      andrea

    8. shiva said,

      23 January 2008 at 21:27

      “Autism dust” could be from someone looking for a connection between autism and allergy/sensitivity to dust (ie google searching for any page that has the words “autism” and “dust” on it)…

    9. shiva said,

      23 January 2008 at 21:25

      There are a few other blogging Andreas out there, so the people searching for Andrea might not necessarily be stalking you. ;)

      A lot of the search terms there look like they were coherent phrases or sentences, but got cut off somehow in the middle of a word. I still don’t understand why people type whole, fully grammatical questions into Google…

      I laughed out loud at “words staring with F”, just because of the mental image it gave me. (Anyone else every personify words as organisms, with the letters being parts of their bodies? F could be a pair of stalked eyes staring forwards at something…)

      … explosive children? :o

    10. 23 January 2008 at 20:53

      LisaDroesdov: That would depend what blogging system you’re using. But for blogs hosted at wordpress.com, you go to Admin –> Dashboard –> Blog Stats. Scroll down a bit to see “search terms” in the left column. If a lot of people are using various search terms to find you then you may need to click on the heading “search terms” to see the full listings for today and yesterday (rather than just the top few).

    11. codeman38 said,

      23 January 2008 at 18:20

      I think quite a few of the claims made about certain autism treatment programs are hyperbolic, but that’s probably not what that user was searching for… ^_~

    12. LisaDroesdov said,

      23 January 2008 at 17:39

      Oooh, how do you tell what people are finding your blog by searching for? Teach me the ways of the inquisitive blogger!

    13. Catana said,

      23 January 2008 at 17:10

      I am so jealous! Your search terms keep beating mine for sheer weirdness. I swear I’m going to write a whole post some day, expanding on some of the terms I find. We really need to answer all those questions.

      By the way, could you please update my link in your blogroll? Gifted and Grown changed to Gifted Mind some time back, and recently moved to its own website: http://highcognitive.squarespace.com

    14. Bev said,

      23 January 2008 at 14:56

      Ooh shiny, shiny post! I am still getting inquiries for “percentage of people who dislike mustard.” For the record, I am not among them. I have to say, yours are much more fun to read. Oh, oh no, go on, andrea buzz bug. This could make some interesting poetry, methinks.

    15. ange said,

      23 January 2008 at 14:39

      man, I just get boring stuff like “visual timers for kids” and “hiking pictures,” even with posts like this: http://miscthing.blogspot.com/2008/01/culinary-incest-lemon-tart.html. I suppose that’s a good thing though. :)

    16. Penny said,

      23 January 2008 at 13:08

      SO much more entertaining than ours! I’m obviously going to have to get some more bugs on DS,TU.

      And, is “autism dust” like “fairy dust”? So many possibilities…

    17. 23 January 2008 at 7:49

      To date my favourite, on my blog is
      salmon vomit.
      It’s made me curious, well do they? may be I should Google it and see where I end up


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